Hi, my name is Brianne. B r i a n n e.  I am 24, and I’m addicted to Neopets.  Is that the saddest thing you’ve ever heard or what? 

So if you were wondering what happened to me – you can thank briannethegreat up there.  I know the day will come when I get lazy about it, and I’ll come back and she’ll weigh 3 pounds because I forgot to feed her for 3 years.  Oh well, it was fun while it lasted. 

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh so fucking cute (Penny, not me.) Did I mistake my bra for two grapefruits that day?  WTF 

yummy yummy for my tummy

You’re welcome. 

I’m minding my own business, walking to lunch, when some crazy old man targets me in the crowd and asks me if I want a candy bar.  

“No thank you!”

“But it has peanuts.” 

Can’t make this shit up.

Oh shit, I almost forgot to tell you guys!  Sue is going to let me do her hair this weekend.  When your wife trusts her precious locs to the hands of a white girl, you know the recession is hitting everyone pretty hard.  I am very nervous.  If I mess up, it’s not like I can turn my phone off and pretend I died.  She also tells me every other day that she is “never cutting her locs off”.  That may change after this weekend.    

She is addicted to this Carol’s Daughter stuff.  I’m not sure who Carol is, but I know her daughter is making a killing off of these beauty products.  We are going to a lesbian Christmas party on Saturday, so she wanted her hair to be fresh.  I am having anxiety over what to wear, so I’m gonna try some outfits on, and you can vote on which one I should wear.

 If you live in Houston, you should definitely check out Anita Bump’s on Friday and Saturday.  It’s the old gay bookstore that Anita Bump (a popular drag queen in the area) turned into a bar and grill. 

Blurry pic, but the queens were performing in the middle of the bar.  Anita Bump did the running man in a mini skirt and stilletos.  I’ll try to get a vid of it tonight. 

$1.00 cocktail time didn’t start until 11:00, so we played this game to keep us busy.  The bartenders were kinda meh, but how do you complain when the cocktails are $1.00?  Since I’m pretty sure they use bottom of the barrel liquor, we stuck to pineapple juice and rum.  It’s hard to fuck up rum.  (I think.) 

We met a lot of interesting people here.  One chick gave me a free bottle of Kenneth Cole Black for no reason. 

Lips

I have no idea wtf was going on with my face right ‘chere, but the reason for this pic is to introduce you to ChaCha.  Note to self:  never smile AGAIN.

Love u

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I turn into a 13 year old boy everytime she comes home.  It’s obnoxious.

It’s snowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwing!  Can you believe it?  I’ve seen snow a total of two times my whole entire life.  Once in Colorado, and it wasn’t the act of snowing, just snow on the ground.  Once in Minnesota, but I was drunk so it doesn’t count.  But it’s snowing here!  I’m soooo excited.  I made Sue Sue take a pic for me. 

Awww, look at LiLi. 

No, that’s not dandruff.  It’s snow!

Has anyone tried Cheez-its lately?  Is it me, or do they taste like meat?  I got a pork rind-y flavor from them.  I’m not sure if it’s natural, and it scares me a little.  It scared me so much that I ate the whole bag. 

Maybe this is why my Cheez-its taste funny.

www.themeatrix1.com

www.themeatrix2.com

It’s ‘A Day Without a Gay’ Day, where all of the gays and lesbians unite and call in “gay” to work.  Well, it’s actually ‘A Day Without a Gay Except For The Asshole Named Brianne Who Went To Work Anyway’ Day.  Does this mean I’m not worthy to fly my rainbow flag and wear matching outfits with my lesbian lover anymore? 

That martini was $12.00 and it tasted like $0.50.  Maybe next time I ask you for a martini, Mr. Fuckup Bartender, don’t give me attitude and say “yeah, okay!  Well what kind?”  Did I say a flavor, motherfucker?  I said a martini.  Don’t worry, I will be back this coming Friday to make your life a living hell.

Nice pimple, Pimp.

Streaker