Brianne The Great

psychosematic

briannethegreat — Fri, 12 Dec 2008 19:46:12 +0000

I’m minding my own business, walking to lunch, when some crazy old man�targets me in the crowd and asks me if I want a candy bar.��

“No thank you!”

“But it has peanuts.”�

Can’t�make this shit up.

Drag Queens and $1.00 COCKtails

briannethegreat — Fri, 12 Dec 2008 15:35:47 +0000

�If you live in Houston, you should definitely check out Anita Bump’s on Friday and Saturday.� It’s�the old gay bookstore that Anita Bump (a popular drag queen in the area) turned into a bar and grill.�

Blurry pic, but the queens were performing in the middle of the bar.� Anita Bump did the running man in a mini skirt and stilletos.��I’ll try to get a vid of it tonight.�

$1.00 cocktail time didn’t start until 11:00, so we played this game to keep us busy.� The bartenders were kinda meh, but how do you complain when the cocktails are $1.00?� Since I’m pretty sure they use bottom of the barrel liquor, we stuck to pineapple juice and rum.� It’s hard to fuck up rum.� (I think.)�

We met a lot of interesting people here.� One chick gave me a free bottle of Kenneth Cole Black for no reason.�

Lips

I have no idea wtf was going on with my face right ‘chere, but the reason for this pic is to introduce you to ChaCha.� Note to self:� never smile AGAIN.

Dayum

briannethegreat — Thu, 11 Dec 2008 23:25:53 +0000

So I’m working my ass off today, when I get this email:

�

Love u

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

I turn into a 13 year old boy everytime she comes home.� It’s obnoxious.

OMG

briannethegreat — Thu, 11 Dec 2008 02:46:40 +0000

It’s snowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwing!� Can you believe it?� I’ve seen snow a total of two times my whole entire life.� Once in Colorado, and it wasn’t the act of snowing, just snow on the ground.� Once in Minnesota, but I was drunk so it doesn’t count.� But it’s snowing here!� I’m soooo excited.� I made Sue Sue take a pic for me.�

Awww, look at LiLi.�

No, that’s not dandruff.� It’s snow!

Cheez-its. The other white meat.

briannethegreat — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 18:32:35 +0000

Has anyone tried Cheez-its lately?� Is it me, or do they taste like meat?� I got a pork rind-y flavor from them.� I’m not sure if it’s natural, and it scares me a little.� It scared me so much that I ate the whole bag.�

Maybe this is why my Cheez-its taste funny.

www.themeatrix1.com

www.themeatrix2.com

Do you know what today is?

briannethegreat — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 16:05:29 +0000

It’s ‘A Day Without a Gay’ Day, where all of the gays and lesbians unite and call in “gay” to work.� Well, it’s actually ‘A Day Without a Gay Except For The Asshole Named Brianne Who Went To Work Anyway’ Day.� Does this mean I’m not worthy�to fly my rainbow flag�and wear matching�outfits with my lesbian lover anymore?�

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Martini and a Motherf—er

briannethegreat — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 20:55:24 +0000

That martini was $12.00 and it tasted like $0.50.� Maybe next time I ask you for a martini, Mr. Fuckup Bartender, don’t�give me attitude and�say “yeah, okay!� Well what kind?”� Did I say a flavor, motherfucker?� I said a martini.� Don’t worry, I will be back this coming Friday to make your life a living hell.

Nice pimple, Pimp.

Streaker

Blah-vatar

briannethegreat — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 18:20:24 +0000

I uploaded my blavatar days ago, and I still can’t see it.� Can you?�

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Yum

briannethegreat — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 16:00:05 +0000

Right now there is someone lurking in the kitchen trying to�get everyone to buy Costco memberships.� I will not be fooled by your bribery with muffins and orange juice.�

You’re getting verrrrrrrrrrrrrry sleeee� peeee.�

Mmmmmmmmmmmm Sue and I split this platter.� The only difference was that I got a big shrimp, and she got a big scallop.� Everything was so good.�

I can’t wait to go back this Friday.� My mouth is watering now.

Lesbian Overload

briannethegreat — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 03:11:42 +0000

The wife and the mistress.

Don’t worry about me, guys.� I just live here.

Geez!� Sorry to disturb you.�

She gets all crazy into play mode whenever I whisper to her.� She is the perfect dog for us, because she sleeps in our lap 23 hours out of the day.� The other hour is spent pretending she doesn’t need to use the bathroom outside, only to come inside and leave a surprise on the floor.� I have never spent so much time on my knees in my life.� I am going to go into lesbian overload soon, and wear my shin guards from softball around the house.