So I’m driving to work minding my own business when this car cuts me off.  I’m like, okay, that was really rude.  Then the person starts slamming on her brakes, so I go around her thinking she is trying to look for a place to turn on the left.  Well, then then car starts driving into my lane and I have to slam on my brakes so she won’t hit me.  By this time I am totally pissed off, and I realize that this person is fucking with me.  Mind you, this whore already made me miss my turn like a half a mile ago.  So now I’m just trying to get away from this asshole.  The car continues to fuck with me, so then I slow down and I’m like okay – I’m just gonna turn off at the next turn I see and then they will leave me alone (my road rage was very toned down, because I was in a not-so-great part of town where Sue and I had our first apartment together).  This fucker is behind me now, and I see a red light up ahead with a left turn lane.  I pull up to the red light, and move into the left turn lane.  The car cuts me off and gets in front of me in the turn lane.  I have no idea how I stopped from hitting her.  I pull my phone out of my purse, and put it in my lap just in case I need to call the police.  I’m watching this cunt in her side view mirror and she’s talking to herself this whole entire time.  Craaaaaazy.  I haven’t seen the driver’s entire face yet, so at the time, I thought it was a man.  The light turns green, and the car in front of me continues to sit there.  I’m trapped.  The lights to keep going straight are still red, so there is nowhere for me to go.  I’m like alright motherfucker, this isn’t funny anymore.  So then I try to go around them, just trying to get away from this asshole.  The car speeds up (of course) and tries to run me off the road.  Can I tell you that I have never been so happy to see a popo pull me over before?  The cop stops both of us, and I get out of my car and this older lady gets out.  I ask her what the fuck her problem is, and she tells me that I hit her 2 miles back, and she was trying to stop me so she could get my insurance information.  AHAHAHA  I say, oh really, I hit you?  Show me where.  Then the cop walks up, and he asks us what’s going on and she starts to tell the same elaborate lie, and I’m giggling at this point because I am so relieved that I’m not dead, and so amazed at how crazy this lady is.  Needless to say, there was no damage because I never hit her.  The cop was smiling and trying not to laugh, and then he asked her what she would like to do about the situation.  Her response was ”nothing”.  I asked her, so I ‘hit’ your car and your solution to the problem was to cause a bigger accident?  The cop told the idiot to get back in her car and drive away and he told me to wait with him until she got around the block.  We sat there laughing and I told him what happened, and then he told me to be careful and I left.  Then it hit me that this lady was trying to make me hit her.  I did nothing to provoke this woman.  I am so, so, so thankful that she didn’t cause an accident.  I can only imagine what kind of injuries this old bitch would’ve come up with.